How to Write an Apology Letter for a Mistake (With 5+ Examples)
We all make mistakes; it's just part of being human. But what we do afterwards—taking responsibility, saying sorry, and making things better—shows how good we are and how we get on with other people.
If you find it hard to write an apology letter, this guide will show you exactly how to do it. It has a clear structure, uses psychology to explain why people make mistakes, and gives you templates you can adapt for work, customer service, or personal relationships.
Dr. Harriet Lerner (Psychology Today) says that a real apology does not include excuses or justifications—it focuses on admitting responsibility for the impact. That's the way of thinking we'll use here.
🧠 Before You Write: The Mindset of a Genuine Apology
An effective apology isn't about saying the right words—it's about feeling sorry. This is a report from the Journal of Positive Psychology.
This shows that if someone says sorry in a genuine way, it can help to rebuild trust, reduce anger, and even strengthen relationships.
Here are the three qualities every apology that matters must have:
- Sincerity: Don't just say sorry to get on with things—say sorry because you understand how your actions affected other people.
- Timeliness: If you reply quickly, it shows that you respect the other person. If you don't reply, it might look like you're avoiding the issue.
- Humility: Stop talking about self-defense. The goal isn't to justify; it's to repair.
Dr. Guy Winch is a clinical psychologist. He calls it "emotional first aid"—a necessary skill for maintaining healthy relationships.
✍️ The 3-A Framework: Acknowledge, Apologize, Act
Don't worry about complicated formulas. A strong apology letter has three simple parts: say sorry, accept responsibility, and change your behavior.
- Acknowledge:
Start by clearly explaining the mistake you made. Don't be vague or avoid the issue. This shows the person you're talking to that you understand exactly what went wrong.
For example: "I am writing to correct an error in the financial report I submitted yesterday. The Q3 revenue figures were miscalculated."
- Say sorry:
This is the most important part of your letter. Say sorry directly and completely for your part in the mistake and for how it affected people. It is very important to show that you understand how they feel.
For example: "I am very sorry for this mistake and for any problems it has caused. I understand this creates extra work for the team to issue a correction, and I'm very sorry about this inconvenience. I was wrong to rush the final review."
- Act:
Saying sorry without planning for the future is just words. Finally, explain the exact steps you are taking to fix the immediate problem and to stop the same mistake from happening again. This makes your apology a proactive solution.
For example: "I have already prepared the corrected report, which can be sent out straight away. To stop this happening again, I have created a new checklist for all my reports. This includes checking all the important information again before sending them off."
💼 Sample Apology Letter for a Mistake at Work
If you make a professional mistake, you should speak respectfully, take responsibility, and try to find a solution.
Subject: Please say sorry for [specific mistake, e.g. deadline for Project X].
Dear [Boss's/Manager's Name],
I am very sorry for [state the mistake clearly, e.g. failing to submit the final report for Project X by the deadline on Wednesday].
I am fully responsible for this delay. I understand that this will delay the project and affect the work of other team members waiting for my contribution. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you, and I'm sorry I caused any problems.
I have now finished the report and added it to this email. To make sure this doesn't happen again, I've already changed how I manage my tasks so I get an earlier warning for all my most important deadlines.
Thank you for your understanding.
Sincerely,[Your Name]
📘 Research insight: When you say sorry at work, people will think better of you, as long as you also explain what you did wrong and how you will do better (Harvard Business Review, 2019).
🛍️ Sample Apology Letter for a Mistake to a Customer
Customer relationships are built on trust—and a sincere apology can make a negative experience into a positive one.
Subject: An Apology Regarding Your Recent Order [Order Number]
Dear [Customer Name],
I'm writing to apologise for the mistake with your order. I understand you received the wrong item, and I'm sure you're frustrated and disappointed.
We made a mistake, and we're really sorry it caused you problems. We really want to give you a smooth experience, but this time we didn't quite manage it.
We have already sent you the correct item via fast delivery, and it should arrive within 1-2 working days. Please keep the original item with our compliments. We are also sorry and have given you a 25% discount code for your next purchase.
We value you as a customer and hope you will give us a chance to provide you with the excellent service you deserve in the future.
Sincerely,[Your Name/Your Company Name]
📈 Fact: According to a 2021 Journal of Service Research article. Companies that apologize and offer compensation to customers who make mistakes are more likely to keep those customers. In fact, the customer retention rate for these companies is usually 20–30% higher.
💖 Sample Apology Letter for a Personal Mistake
Personal apologies should be heartfelt, warm, and free of defensiveness. Try to understand the feelings of the person you are talking to, not just the facts.
Subject: I'm really sorry.
Dear [Friend's/Loved One's Name],
I am really very sorry for [what I did, e.g., the insensitive comment I made during dinner last night]. I am very sorry if I hurt you.
I've been thinking about it ever since, and I understand why what I said upset you. It was thoughtless and unfair. I was wrong, and I'm really sorry.
Our friendship means the world to me, and I would never want to hurt you. I hope you can forgive me.
With love,[Your Name]
💡 Psychology note: Apologies that show you understand how the other person feels (e.g., "I understand how that made you feel") are much more effective at restoring trust than apologies that focus on the speaker's own feelings ("I didn't mean to hurt you"). This is based on a study by Ohio State University in 2016.
🪞 Practice Your Apology Privately on Tellsomething
Before you send it, try out your message in a safe space where you won't be judged. Apps like Tellsomething. Help you express yourself better by thinking about what you say and how you feel, and then making any necessary changes.
- Get the tone right: Write your apology and then read it again. Try not to come across as defensive, but instead show that you understand where the other person is coming from.
- Use video to connect emotionally: If you have made a big mistake, record a short video message. Your face and voice make it seem more real.
- Save important messages: Keep copies as reminders of your progress — being accountable will make you more emotionally intelligent over time.
Writing a good apology letter for a mistake can do more than just fix it. It can also help to rebuild trust, show that you are honest, and strengthen your relationship with the other person. Use these templates and frameworks to write well when you write to a boss, customer, or loved one.
🧠 References
- Lerner, H. (2017). The Psychology of Apology. Psychology Today.
- Harvard Business Review. (2019). The Right Way to Say “I’m Sorry” at Work.
- Lewicki, R. J., & Polin, B. (2016). The Six Elements of an Effective Apology. Ohio State University.
- Journal of Service Research. (2021). The Role of Apology and Compensation in Customer Retention.
- Journal of Positive Psychology. (2016). The Restorative Power of Sincere Apology.
- Perel, E. (2020). Rebuilding Connection Through Accountability. The New York Times.